You know you are in wedding overload when:
You are sitting in math class thinking about how to put that finishing touch on your centerpieces...
You see flowers or a floral arrangement and try to find a way to use them (even when you can't possibly use any more flowers)...
You see a piece of furniture and imagine how it would look draped in white tulle...
The words "my wedding" are present in every conversation, no matter who you are talking to...
Everything blue you look at is compared to your exact wedding shade of blue...
Your bank account is draining much faster than normal...
I'm sure I'll think of more in the next couple months :) If so I'll add them to the list.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Thursday, December 13, 2007
The Coffee Bug
DISCLAIMER: The following post is in no way, shape, or form factual. It is entirely MADE UP from the musings of bored individuals.
The coffee bug is the bane of all coffee farmers. Its primary source of nutrition are coffee and espresso beans. Many devices have been developed to wipe out the insect. One method, while highly effective, is very costly. This requires placing a gift card in a gift card sized pizza box, similar to the ones at Uno's retaurant. The Coffee Bug can not resist the pull of the free money on the gift card and will walk right into the trap. An equally effective method, but much cheaper, is the Chrap, short for the Chocolate Trap. Due to its ratio of effectiveness to cost it is the only method used regularly. This device sprays liquid chocolate on the coffee bug, which thickens instantly. This forms a solid coating on the bug that prevents the flow of oxygen through its exoskeleton. A bug picker is sent around to collect and bag the coated coffee bugs. These bags are then sent to popular coffee shops in developed countries and sold for an enormous profit as "Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans." However, these addictive snacks will soon be considered contraband as the Chrap has been deemed cruel and unsual. Legislature has almost passed a bill that will ban the sale and consumption of these beans, as well as ban the use of the Chrap in the US. The price of these beans is expected to skyrocket over the next several weeks as the final stock in stores is being bought. Part of the push behind the new law stems from the recent fad of keeping Coffee Bugs as pets. When properly taken care of the bugs can grow to be 3 feet in height, and do a great job of keeping the lawn trimmed. They are apparently excellent with kids, despite the large pincers on their mouth.
The coffee bug is the bane of all coffee farmers. Its primary source of nutrition are coffee and espresso beans. Many devices have been developed to wipe out the insect. One method, while highly effective, is very costly. This requires placing a gift card in a gift card sized pizza box, similar to the ones at Uno's retaurant. The Coffee Bug can not resist the pull of the free money on the gift card and will walk right into the trap. An equally effective method, but much cheaper, is the Chrap, short for the Chocolate Trap. Due to its ratio of effectiveness to cost it is the only method used regularly. This device sprays liquid chocolate on the coffee bug, which thickens instantly. This forms a solid coating on the bug that prevents the flow of oxygen through its exoskeleton. A bug picker is sent around to collect and bag the coated coffee bugs. These bags are then sent to popular coffee shops in developed countries and sold for an enormous profit as "Chocolate Covered Espresso Beans." However, these addictive snacks will soon be considered contraband as the Chrap has been deemed cruel and unsual. Legislature has almost passed a bill that will ban the sale and consumption of these beans, as well as ban the use of the Chrap in the US. The price of these beans is expected to skyrocket over the next several weeks as the final stock in stores is being bought. Part of the push behind the new law stems from the recent fad of keeping Coffee Bugs as pets. When properly taken care of the bugs can grow to be 3 feet in height, and do a great job of keeping the lawn trimmed. They are apparently excellent with kids, despite the large pincers on their mouth.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
The Art of the Can Pyramid
History (thanks to Wikipedia):
Inspired by films such as National Lampoon's Animal House during the heyday of party culture, beer can pyramids were most frequently seen during the late 1970s, the 1980s, and the early '90s, and could often be found in fraternity houses, dorms, and other collegiate locations throughout the US, and other places where canned beer was consumed in volume.
Current Culture:
The beer can pyramid has extended to the more general "can pyramid", which can consist of soda cans, beer cans, or a combination of the two. These pyramids can also be found in the workplace, especially among computer scientists that take in large amounts of caffeine.
Types:
The "square" pyramid is for the perfectionist. Each row being one can larger in width and length than the one above it.
The "round" pyramid is not so much a pyramid as it is a tiered cone. This being the preferred method for beer pyramids as it takes less mental competence to build and is rarely actually "round".
The "two-sided" pyramid is designed to sit in a cubicle corner. It is for the impatient builder that wants a faster increase in pyramid height, as it requires fewer cans per level. The cube corner also assists in preventing unwanted collapses.
The "triangular" pyramid has the stability of the two-sided with the bonus of being stand-alone. There are no worries about the 1 inch crack between the desk and the cube wall that exist with the two-sided. The triangular does require more cans then the two-sided but less than the square, giving it the ideal combination of stability and build-time.
Fun Fact:
The world record Beer Can Pyramid was over 5 meters tall and contained 10,660 cans. It was built by the Melbourne University Student Union in 2005.
Inspired by films such as National Lampoon's Animal House during the heyday of party culture, beer can pyramids were most frequently seen during the late 1970s, the 1980s, and the early '90s, and could often be found in fraternity houses, dorms, and other collegiate locations throughout the US, and other places where canned beer was consumed in volume.
Current Culture:
The beer can pyramid has extended to the more general "can pyramid", which can consist of soda cans, beer cans, or a combination of the two. These pyramids can also be found in the workplace, especially among computer scientists that take in large amounts of caffeine.
Types:
The "square" pyramid is for the perfectionist. Each row being one can larger in width and length than the one above it.
The "round" pyramid is not so much a pyramid as it is a tiered cone. This being the preferred method for beer pyramids as it takes less mental competence to build and is rarely actually "round".
The "two-sided" pyramid is designed to sit in a cubicle corner. It is for the impatient builder that wants a faster increase in pyramid height, as it requires fewer cans per level. The cube corner also assists in preventing unwanted collapses.
The "triangular" pyramid has the stability of the two-sided with the bonus of being stand-alone. There are no worries about the 1 inch crack between the desk and the cube wall that exist with the two-sided. The triangular does require more cans then the two-sided but less than the square, giving it the ideal combination of stability and build-time.
Fun Fact:
The world record Beer Can Pyramid was over 5 meters tall and contained 10,660 cans. It was built by the Melbourne University Student Union in 2005.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Leet - Its not just for geeks
Leet, also known as leetspeak, is these days primarily used as a method of symbolic word encryption. In english, that means using numbers and symbols to replace letters, or even dropping letters altogether. Any 10 year old chatting up his/her friends on the web has probably used leet. Most adults see it on a daily basis on license plates. An example you ask? Sk8r, or skater, is a pretty common one. To borrow an example from Wikipedia, how about C@Lovr, which would be cat lover. So true most of you "cool" kids don't go around saying things like n00b, pwned, or r0xx0rz. But next time you sign on to AIM take a look at your buddy list, bet you see at least 1 that is some kind of leet.
TTLY 31337 yall ;-)
TTLY 31337 yall ;-)
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
CBS Gives a Shoutout to Geeks
So probably one of the most intellectual sitcoms I've ever watched, "The Big Bang Theory" is number 1 in my book. I don't care what the ratings say. True the main basis of the show, Leonard's infatuation with the lovely Penny, can only keep the story moving for so long. But if the writers can introduce a new theme into the show to keep the plot going, then I can see this one holding out for more seasons. Sheldon is by far the funniest character EVER and a surprising number of his jokes require a bit of knowledge to understand them. Hats off to CBS for making a show for those of us that want a little more than dumb humor once in awhile. Who else but Sheldon would dress up as the Doppler Effect for a Halloween party. Raise your hand if you even remember what the Doppler Effect is off the top of your head... Yeah that's what I thought. I could go on about how awesome this show is but really you should check it out for yourself. If you are even a little bit geeky, this one's a must watch!
And it begins...
For my first EVER blog post let's talk about the origins of my blog name: Smoking CPU.
So I'm type type typing on my laptop. Feet propped up, laptop in my lap. All of a sudden I hear this strange noise... whirrrrrrrrrr
and then...
SMOKE!!!!
Yes smoke started pouring out the side of my laptop followed by the stench of burnt electronics that lingered the rest of the day.
(ok so NO that picture is totally not what happened with mine but its still pretty awesome computer carnage)
So I'm type type typing on my laptop. Feet propped up, laptop in my lap. All of a sudden I hear this strange noise... whirrrrrrrrrr
and then...
SMOKE!!!!
Yes smoke started pouring out the side of my laptop followed by the stench of burnt electronics that lingered the rest of the day.
(ok so NO that picture is totally not what happened with mine but its still pretty awesome computer carnage)
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